Saturday, April 14, 2018 - Sacramento, CA
Drop the needle,
I'm finding myself in an odd state. I have disregarded my feelings in the process of trying to understand someone else's. I put in so much time and effort into things that don't seem to be appreciated. When you care so much about something that the first thing you ask God for is their safety, you tend to feel a certain way when they don't seem to notice. I have faith in my journey with God, I am just wondering where to go from here. Is what I am feeling all in my head? Did I jump all by myself? I'm not doubting the relationship, it's just difficult trying so hard and still feel so alone. Sometimes I feel like I'm the crazy one for wanting to know if he's ok or to hear how his day went even though I already know, but his voice soothes me. I stopped pushing him away and let him in, I'm just not sure if he's the one pushing now. My mind is going to the worst of places and I'm trying not to let it but it's hard not to right now. I feel so alone.