Wednesday, June 20, 2018 - Sacramento, CA
Drop the needle,
In the midst of all of this happiness and bliss, it seems the rug has been pulled out from under me. If I have another issue with this car, I am going to lose it. I'm losing my mind about this. It seems when I am really living and finding happiness, there is something out to tackle me back to reality.
I don't know what I'm going to do next. Each day is me just trying to get by. I want to cry every 5 minutes. Then I think of JM and Da'mon and their voices telling me it's going to be ok. I'm trying to keep the faith in everything but I'm terrified.
I know that I'll make it through whatever this is and reach the other side, but for some reason I can't seem to skip the part where I break down and my head won't stop spinning. They both keep telling me that I'm not alone. If only my heart could grasp that concept. I always shut people out when I'm lost because I don't want them to see me broken.
I know I'm stronger than this. I have to be.